I help people all the dang time. Sometimes it is because I just like doing it, others it is because I just can’t help going to watch crazy people.

 I went out a couple of weeks ago to haul 4 horses for the most horse ignorant person I have ever met, for free. Well except for the entertainment value. She was going to rent a u haul to haul these horses in and wanted to know if the ramp on the u haul would be too slippery for them to walk up, and how she should tie them inside. By the way these horses she just got for free from a relative, are not halter broke, have never had much done with them, and are 3 year olds. She was going to give them to her 10, 12 and 13 year old kids. After an hour long talk that morning, I convinced her to let me help haul them. But she was still convinced, (she had not seen these horses yet or had to try to do anything with them) that she could break and train them since she rode horses when she was a kid and was raised on a farm until she was 11. She is 32 and had not touched a horse since she was 11. I thought to myself, I am going to have so much fun today! We talked a bit more. I found out she was a zealot about a lot of things. She doesn’t believe in immunizations or deworming as these are just ways for vets and pharmacies to make money. A wild horse did not have to have this done and certain herbs and proper diet would insure their health, after all people do not have parasites and they do not use dewormers. (by the way, in case you are wondering, people do have parasites, Google it sometime. Or maybe not, it will give you the heeby jeebies!) She did not believe in “altering animals” by spaying or neutering them either. Argh. She did not want me to touch her new horses or help in any way as she had her special ways. I considered bringing a video camera, and now I wish I would have.
 Long story short, those horses are still at her uncles property. She had been watching natural horsemanship training videos. She did not want me to interfere and “ruin” her horses. When I offered to bring a horse and rope these unbroken and untrained horses, or use my horse to show her horses how to get in the trailer as they might follow Brie, (my mare) into the trailer. She was really opposed to this “violent” method. I don’t know what I am doing you see. She had not touched a horse in over 20 years but has been watching videos for the last several weeks and has learned how to train a horse properly. I don’t know how to train a horse properly because I had never heard of her videos. Even though I have trained for almost 30 years, rodeo-ed for almost 40, and shown for close to 35. I guess if you don’t have time to watch hours of videos, you just don’t know how to train a horse. (I asked her how the people in the videos learned to train the horses if they didn’t have the videos to watch. That earned me some really dirty looks, but made me giggle)  Roping a horse ruins them she told me, she was going to put each of them in her uncles round pen and work them for a few minutes to “get them listening to her.” She went out with a halter and lead to get the first one after her uncle pointed out the ones she could have. This was lots of fun to watch, but didn’t last long enough. Her uncle and I stood out in the field and watched with some amusement. I liked the uncle right away, he nudged me and said, “this should be worth watching”, then turned a big grin on me. I knew then he was the smart one in the family. She chased the horses around for a while with halters. She actually got a halter on the little bay mare, well part ways anyway, before the mare decided she had had enough and took off with the halter mostly on, but only over one ear. She actually caught another one and wasn’t amused when her uncle pointed out it wasn’t one of the horses he said she could have, it was actually his daughters riding horse. He told me just call him Uncle, he had almost 30 nieces and nephews and pretty much everyone just called him uncle now. I was standing out there scratching and visiting with the horses who got curious about me. (I was told this is not the way to treat a horse it makes them spoiled and not want to respect you or work for you.) Funny, I had one of her little studs in a halter and it was really enjoying having its chest scratched and letting me pretty much do whatever I wanted. I think they are actually pretty smart and easy going animals. I let it go, she didn’t realize it had been one of the ones she wanted to catch. I think I am going to hell. 2 of the 4 her uncle is giving her are studs, every mare there is pretty much bred, most are very pregnant or have babies at their sides, all were in pretty good shape. They were not halter broke, but all were run through some stocks and had their feet done several times a year. They are on 110 acres. He has another 100 acres as well. There are about 40 head of horses there.  He just wanted all the 3 year olds gone and has gotten rid of all the other studs, but his good one who is 12 and who is kept in a separate area with his best friend, a mule named Lemon. (I love that mule and told him if he ever wants to get rid of him I would pick him up.) Nice stud, great build, foundation lines and when you scratch him he flaps his lips and makes noises. He has also been trained to do a few tricks which the uncle showed me. The stud will lay down on command and Uncle can turn him on his back and sit on his chest holding his front legs. Then Uncle scratches his chest and he makes more silly noises. Those 2 are a pair. Uncle is a pretty decent guy, just getting older and doesn’t want to raise but maybe 2-3 horses a year now. He did not want the 3 year old studs in with the herd, but they got out there last year after the Uncle broke his pelvis falling off his roof, and he has had no way to catch them. He and I chatted while watching her chase the horses. I asked him what he thought of her “training methods”. He said that he thought she was an idiot, but the horses were really good minded and he didn’t think they would hurt her. He didn’t know about her thinking it was wrong to “alter” animals by spaying or neutering them. When he heard this he told her she could not have the two studs unless she was going to geld them, at which point she threw and epic fit. She was sweaty and dirty from falling down a few times trying to slap halters on horses who she made no effort to let get to know her. She had also been drug a fair ways by a few she had snagged by the mane and tried to hold on to. She was pretty banged up and her clothes were almost completely gray from dust except for the blood on her chest form a bloody nose. Screaming and crying at the top of her lungs at us that neither of us had a clue about the proper way to do natural horsemanship. Got in her car and left in a huff. Me and the old guy had another cup of coffee, and he asked me if I would give him a hand because he is going to call the vet to come out to geld the 2 boys. Also he would like to pay me to get the four halter broke. He didn’t think she is going to be coming back, and it will probably be another 4 years before he hears from her again. She only called him a few weeks ago to ask if she could have a few horses to train as she was learning to train and wanted some horses to work with. He didn’t know at the time she was insane or that learning to train meant watching videos and never once touching a horse. Previous to that he had not heard from her since she got married 4 years before. She hadn’t invited him to the wedding, but sent him an announcement and a card that said in lieu of a gift he could send a check to go towards their down payment! I took some pictures that day, but all you can really see is horse figures and dust. All in all I made a new friend with Uncle who makes excellent coffee, had a lot of fun watching this girl chase horses around, saw some really pretty horses, and I met a mule named Lemon.